the (work) year ended yesterday.

most people i’ve told have reacted along congratulary lines; but somehow it’s not just about happiness, or relief even. the year- the last day itself- wasn’t so simple.

a thought strikes me- perhaps yesterday was a fairly accurate composition of the whole year in its multifold layers, demands and complexity/complication. the last all too summarised in the talk i had with my head; an intensity and explanation i could have done without. but it was permitted to materialise; i submit to my highest authority.

admitting failures and slip ups to whom i was accountable, was a rather awful experience. i would rather it not happen again, and will take pains to ensure so.

there. words for experiences i didn’t have for 24 hours; now my insides can stop being clogged, thank you very much.

part of me wants to just sit here and dream away, rest, holiday, things like that but i’ll have to find other ways to recharge.
still, it’s not so bad; naming the experience has been liberating enough: now the rest can flow.